Tag Archives: Religion
Pope Francis launches the Miracle Waffle Iron
-Had it with dry, tasteless communion hosts? – It’s time for a miracle. A Miracle Waffle Iron, that is -Transubstantiates the morning Mass into a meal -“This is my body. This is my maple syrup.” -Purgatory safe -Available wherever plenary … Continue reading
It’s Pope Francis vs. the Eight Ball in a know-it-all shootout
New York City — What does Pope Francis have in common with The Magic Eight Ball? They both are infallible, possessing the magical ability of always providing the right answer at the right time. But there is one question that … Continue reading
New York Mets down to one last fan
New York Mets down to one last fan : Flushing New York The New York Mets have been a disaster at the plate an abomination on the mound and a catastrophe in the field Yet theyve always managed to attract … Continue reading
Pope enters reality TV biz, premiering “Fish on Friday” (satire)
The Vatican — Faced with rising legal costs and shrinking contributions, the Catholic Church is jumping into the lucrative reality TV segment with an unscripted show that features the Son of God. “Our initial offering will be a how-to reality-based … Continue reading
John Kerry gives Syria the ‘Evil Eye’
Washington, DC – Finding little support for his administration’s plan to punish Syria, US Secretary of State John Kerry is taking matters into his own face. The former Senator is activating his evil eye against the regime of Bashar al-Assad … Continue reading
John Kerry gives Syria the ‘Evil Eye’
Washington, DC – Finding little support for his administration’s plan to punish Syria, US Secretary of State John Kerry is taking matters into his own face. The former Senator is activating his evil eye against the regime of Bashar al-Assad … Continue reading
Easter Defaults; Resurrection Looks Doubtful
Brussels – The Holidays and Holy Days Panel of the European Union has canceled Easter this year due to a lack of funding. “The Almighty, and I do use that name with a high degree of bitterness, refuses to perform … Continue reading
Tribal Group Sues the Vatican Over Smoke Signal Rights
Cheyenne, Wyoming — The Tribal Gathering Is taking the Catholic Church to court over its use of smoke signals to announce papal election results. “Just because you know how to build a fire doesn’t mean you can steal our proven … Continue reading
Bloomberg Bids To Become The Second Jewish Pope
The Vatican — New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg is moving to complete a deal that would make him the second Jewish Pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church. “St. Peter was Jewish and he turned out to be the indestructible rock … Continue reading
Miracles of Pope Benedict Revealed
Vatican City — As he retires as the mystical leader of the Catholic Church, Pope Benedict is being honored for the miracles he performed while pontiff. Among the amazing feats with which he is credited are these wonders: Converted the … Continue reading
The Evening Snark 